Red Shoulder Hawk

Red Shoulder Hawk

Saturday, August 09, 2008


I wrote about my frustration with living in a "middle management" culture. The point of the post was to opine that even though I've made big changes in how I run my business, I still fail to satisfy my clients.

Ah, posting from emotion. What a great way to hurt people. It's completely unintentional; as an ENFP I really expect everyone to be so secure in their skin that I can just be myself and they'll understand I'm not commenting about their life experience at all.

ENFP's just don't get middle-management. It doesn't mean we don't respect it, or see its value. It is... alien. And anyone who just thought they heard a judgment when I wrote "alien" can go jump in a lake.

The people to whom I owe the deepest apologies are those clients I was working with last fall as my breakdown approached. I could sense it coming, but couldn't find what to do. When I asked for help, people responded weakly or not at all. It was a miserable time for anyone connected to me. I truly did fall off the face of the earth. Since then I've made several key changes in how I run my business (I hired a middle manager, so there!). I see some dividends from the changes, but they seem small compared to the scale of effort I am employing.

I doubt I will ever get the chance to apologize to everyone that deserves it. Being let down by the Champion (ENFP type) can leave a scar that is very deep. I am sad about this. It feels sometimes that no matter how much integrity I live with from now on, it won't be enough to undo to pain I sowed.

To my Pixel Rangers clients, then: please forgive me for falling off the face of the earth. I am really sorry for letting you down.

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