Going backward would be SO easy

It's probably futile, but we're proceeding as though this home purchase is going to go through. It's hard, because there are some rentals in the area that are half of what we'd been paying and a quarter of what we might be paying. My wife is drained... heck, we're all drained. But Nicholas showed some spark yesterday. He'd been looking like a helium balloon a week after the party. It broke my heart to see him all withered and as though a strong breeze would crumple him.

Caity, our reading fiend, told me she completely gets why someone without money would buy shoes instead of a book. She saw a billboard on her way to the library, and found herself saying, "If I had those shoes, then I'd be happy! What good is a book? There's no status in carrying around a book!"

And yet, and yet... if the crucial miracle occurs and we get into this house, will we all look back on this very challenging few weeks and be able to feel it was worth it?

I keep repeating my new mantra "It can be easy, it can be easy." About as far as I can really get, though, is "I can choose to be happy. I can choose to be happy."