Red Shoulder Hawk

Red Shoulder Hawk

Saturday, August 16, 2008

Making Room Inside

Mariposa Grove and Willow House members are in various stage of prep to hie off to Black Rock City. I'll miss them while they are gone. I know they will all have fun and come back to me in that special flavor of burnt and recharged.

Many people in my life are choosing self-assessment and personal growth right now. Wonderful; terrible. I have to put extra attention in to staying on my own foundation-- the energies are just all over the map, so one day is really hard and the next is ecstatic.

I really appreciate you who have commented, here, in emails, and to my face, about issues I raise. These thoughtful people have finally pierced my obstinancy about my ENFP communication style. I'm... shifting? broadening? eager? incorporate, erm, a gentility into my conversations, to allow that other people need a bit more space to give voice to their truths.

I'm still very much me: the inner dialogue goes something like "That person hasn't reached the same level of intimate self-awareness that I have and so I have a responsibility to pause for them to complete their self-check and speak up." Eh, it's a start. There is some grace there, and soon perhaps I'll be able to see my own specialness as well as the specialness of others, without assuming that either is more developed or deficient.

One key bit for me is I am unwilling to amputate some of who I am in order to allow space for someone else to have their full experience. And yet that is often the message that gets delivered: Bob, you're using up all the air. Leave some for other people.

As a Champion, an Inspirator, my view is that I'm creating abundance by being myself at full volume. I don't understand the scarcity view that if I am full, that I am somehow diminishing another. Rise up! Join the fray! I don't yet know how to be inviting to the meek. But I am beginning to understand that I really do need to be.

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