I've had some extremely potent chemistry going on inside me for a few months. It reached a crescendo and collapsed; now, a week or two later, blood cleansed, I am getting perspective.
Much of this internal work I won't share, but this piece I will: upon searching deeply I discovered I was angry with God for using me to do someone else a life-altering favor. God, why me as tool? Wasn't there some better way to get to this result? These were the wrong questions. The question that finally got a response was: "What did this person ever do for me?"
God answered, "Do you enjoy your community? What effort did you do to develop it, to help it grow? The one who I helped through you, was instrumental in helping your community. Be grateful. Be in thanksgiving."
Okay. I will. I am. I love living here. But God, if there is anyone else I should thank, let's find a different way next time.