One of the things I've been experimenting with over the last 18 months, at the energetic/cosmic consciousness/causal reality boundary, is the interplay of "lack" and "abundance." I've been trying to keep a foot in both worlds, to feel the scrape and draw across that boundary.
I don't mean simple monetary wealth, nor do I mean a simple life. I mean, exploring the feeling of scarcity that drives accumulation of stuff, of becoming surrounded by yes-men, of indulgence and gluttony, of promiscuity– the sense that there's something missing and that somewhere outside of ourselves, we'll find what we need to plug that hole.
At the same time, I've been holding to a sense of gratitude in abundance. I am supremely thankful for the events of the journey I've been on, for the life lessons, for the bees, for my wife and childrne, for seeing the world through their eyes, for my clients, for my bank accounts– all the wonderful gifts from Divine Provenance that come into my life.
I imagined that with a part of me in each world, I could be more sympathetic, more empathic, to those who feel less alive than I do. And I am, I think. More sympathetic, that is. But I don't really know.
I've also noticed that being a bridge keeps me from moving forward.
So now I'm experimenting with stepping all the way into the "abundance" camp. There's enough documentation held in this blog from the past year about playing both sides. It's time to stretch up and out, to see what happens when I unconditionally accept the love and grace coming my way.
It's a good time to do this, I think. I've scraped and struggled my way to being within about $5000 of breaking even. I don't know where to "struggle" any further. Doesn't that suggest it's time to try something new?