Red Shoulder Hawk

Red Shoulder Hawk

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

How to get free coffee

I cannot stress enough how important attitude is in order to be successful with today's lesson.

1) Get up and get dressed in a good mood, because you're about to get a free cup of coffee!

2) Leave the house carrying only the clothes on your back. Walk with a spring in your step, because you're on your way to get a free cup of coffee!

3) Go to Peet's. Order a pound of Fair Trade Blend. Smile winningly as you do so. The person behind the counter will ask, "Would you like a complementary cup of coffee?"

Here comes the most important part:

4) You say: "Why yes, that would be lovely!"

5) As you receive your free cup, simultaneously take a sip and reach into your pocket and realize you do not have your wallet. Allow your attitude to naturally shift from excited to horrified.

6) Now you say, "Oh my, wait! I don't have my wallet! Please don't grind the beans yet! I'm so sorry!" The counter attendant will very likely allow you to keep the complementary cup of coffee, especially if you have been very pleasant and merely look like an idiot rather than a freeloader.

7) Get out quickly, and enjoy the fruits of human kindness. You've just helped someone do their good deed for the day!

Note: If you have your wallet (or purse), then you didn't understand step #2. You'll have to pay for your coffee.

Final note: I did go back later with my money and buy that pound of coffee.

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