Red Shoulder Hawk

Red Shoulder Hawk

Saturday, October 01, 2005

Catching rain with a straw

I prayed: "Oh God, I'm so thirsty for your abundance, please shower me with Your Grace and Love! Why, oh why, do I feel so drained? Don't You care for me? Don't You want me to be powerful in action? Can I please have more of Your Spirit so I can accomplish the worthy tasks You've set before me? Rain down on me!"

And I suddenly had a vision of being in a downpour, soaking wet, but trying to drink raindrops through a straw. With a mouth dry as dust.

I've been setting the goal of receiving the blessings all around me. I'm powerfully connected in the outgoing direction, but I've been a spasmed sphincter on the receiving end. How to change that? First notice it is so, then practice, practice, practice changing it.

I drove the Sparrow right into the Art Car party. Philo Northrup told me it was his favorite car there. My inner commentator immediately brought up Carthedral, Truck in Flux, and Flutterbug. So I said "I don't see how that can be, but thank you." Imagine if I'd said, "Really? Tell me how you see it. Can you help me see through your eyes?"

When I hear something that feels impossible to accept, can I discover being in curiosity about it? Can I sidestep going into my judgement place?

Last night I went to an appreciation party for the volunteers from our Peanut Butter Jam Festival. I met Mike Gunderson. He makes all the very excellent designs for WABA. "Bob? Hi, I'm Mike. I got into your website, and I was really taken aback. You're a really good designer!"

I was bumped right out of my normal response, so I said, "Really? Wow, thank you. Why do you say that?" and together we went on a 5 minute appreciation party.

A little while later, I met Christine Buck, who shared the exact same sentiment: "I'm remembering your name... you wrote something in response to a protest or something (was it after 9/11?), and while I don't remember the content, I remember that it was very good, and it moved me." We talked for a while, and I discovered she is a writer! I thanked her for her compliment, and I marveled that she retained my name after such a time. To get noticed by a writer for writing, and a designer for designing, is very wonderful.

To open up, to let the appreciation flow into me, is even more wonderful. It is the sustenance I need to restore the wellspring within me. Now, I'm catching rain in a bucket.

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