Red Shoulder Hawk

Red Shoulder Hawk

Wednesday, February 03, 2010

Shiva's servant

Perhaps the great lesson in this transition here at Home of the Future is that I am a conduit of change, not change itself.

Fours years ago I used all my faith to get into this house. Now I am doing something different. I am still embodying change and possibility... But I am also very much not directing, not pushing for a specific outcome.

I am holding space, in the bridge between what IS and WHAT WILL BE. Xena has reacted with anxiety or fear or stubbornness when I toggle over into my driver of change mode. I see now that she wasn't being an obstacle; rather, she was noticing I was not doing my life work. I was pushing rather than supporting.

I am not the leader from A to B. I am the conduit, the courage to make the first step, the love and tenderness when the journey is hard.

More than one former housemate has told me how healing and nurturing living with me and my family was for them. These housemates have gone on to do amazing things. I am good at holding space. I am good at supporting other people's hearts. I am good at making change an exciting journey rather than a scary dark place.

But only when I don't drive.

I will remember to be the space between. I will continue to use my powers for good.

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