Red Shoulder Hawk

Red Shoulder Hawk

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Not sleeping

I'm not sleeping much.

I've a rash that itches and pinches by turns.

After more than three years of amazing experiences growing the Home of the Future, my family simply cannot afford the loan payments. We were in the loan modification program for six months and were finally denied (just after the banks paid all the bail-out money back).

So we are short-selling the house. No guarantees there either; many banks are getting in to the real estate business by foreclosing and holding properties, in some cases even renting them back to the homeowner for about the cost of the mortgage payment.

Wacky times.

I have mad coping skills: yoga, Netflix Instant Watch®, breathing, receiving chiropractic, meditating, hiking, or driving down the freeway screaming for a few minutes. None of these are sufficient to overcome the multiple stressors in my life right now.

Short selling the house is just one source of stress. But it's pretty much the final straw.

I am being powerfully supported by the community. Even Karl and Nini came over to help clean up the place so we could show it. Friends are helping and family is supportive. My mom wishes there was something she could do, so she prays.

I am so full of grace and prayer that sleep is almost not necessary. Some nights I get two hours; some nights four. and I might be a bit groggy during the day but I'm moderately functional. Then as I lie down the fluids shift and the itching starts.

We are receiving a huge amount of interest in the home. I am receiving constant whisperings from God that He loves me and will provide for me and my family's needs. His power and steadfastness are being demonstrated over and again. I have every confidence that His plan is grander and better than anything I can develop. My job is to show up and say yes.

I do wish He'd do something about this rash so it was easier for me to sleep, though.

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