Darn it, I just lost the second half of a job. I just didn't move fast enough. Although I started before I got the deposit, just to help ensure that I got ahead of the curve on this one, that wasn't enough. The client panicked, and hired someone else to finish the job over the weekend.
Would I have worked over the weekend, if I had known she was panicking? I don't know.
How could I have spent my time differently? She says a phone call on Friday would have set everything to rights-- I could have done that. I'm working on returning phone calls within one business day; in her mind, it took me four days because I was "out of reach" on Saturday and Sunday, too. Calling first thing Monday morning was too late.
How can I balance staying in constant contact with someone and getting the creative work done? I wonder if I could set up a standard 30 minute time block, each day, to just go through the roster and tell people... what? That I'm still here? That's my least favorite kind of call:
"Hi, it's me, Robert."
"Oh good, nice to hear your voice, glad you didn't fall off the planet."
"Still here. Still working on your job. Still going to get it done."
"Okay, thanks, that's such a relief."
The signal to noise ratio on these calls is effectively Zero. Waste of my time. Except, not really, because apparently we're a civilization full of middle-managers who panic if we don't get reassured that nothing has happened, and then I lose money. Can I escape the realm of middle-management? How can I make my nature work for me, instead of against me?
Crap, our finances were going to be helped by getting paid for this work. Now what? God, can you please show me the way to honor all my time commitments and bring in enough cash to keep everything going? I am really mystified. And hurt. This is a bad combination for me, to then get back on the horse and keep trying. It's like that pounding concrete to no effect experience of a week ago.
I'd better find how to get my head back in the game and earn some income and be open to revenue. I am so tired of being so fragile.