Red Shoulder Hawk

Red Shoulder Hawk

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

Particle Man

My father was a particle man. He knew his place in the scheme of things, and moved with God's grace through the world, always doing the right thing.

I am choosing to be a particle man for the next few months.

I've been discernment man, seeking meaning as I move through my days. I see the world's population teetering on the brink of self annihilation, and an echo of that dilemma in my own striving to push through to a more abundant future. I feel that if I can dodge the train rushing at me, and in fact become the train, that I somehow cast forward this possibility for the entire species.

Sheesh. Not too important, am I?

In truth, it's not that I think I'm important... I do think my life is a nice easy snapshot of the issues we all face. I can't keep operating from this mindscape, though. I'm all wore out. I can't be the tip of all the weight of meaning grinding through the fabric of the Universe.

So for a while, I'm shifting to a place of trust that I am where I need to be, doing what I need to do. I don't need to harvest meaning from my days. It's past time to simply show up and get the work done.

If I can do this in mindfulness, I will consider the experiment a success.

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