Red Shoulder Hawk

Red Shoulder Hawk

Monday, April 03, 2006

I Am God's Fool.

While praying today, I realized my biggest fear is not that we'll have no where to live, or that my actions are going to bankrupt us. No, as usual, it's much more selfish than that.

I am afraid of looking foolish in front of my family.

I do not want to appear foolish in front of my children, my wife, my Mom, my brothers and sister. My courage is faltering: as Providence presents opportunity upon opportunity to me, the sequence and sheer number of these gifts has overwhelmed my rational self. My reason is a gibbering idiot, raving in fear. Trying to buy this house doesn't make sense. But intellect is not in charge. In fact, reason is servant to the master. Seven years ago, I made a choice to follow God's path for me, and He's been showing it to me ever since. Often I succeed in living from my true nature. And so my courage returns. I am no longer afraid of appearing the fool:

For I am God's fool.

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