Red Shoulder Hawk

Red Shoulder Hawk

Monday, April 10, 2006

Full Spectrum Emotions

My brother Steve sent me a quick email: "Remember, the process is designed to get you into a house, not keep you out of one."

What a breathtakingly simple viewpoint shift! Yes, I say, and new space opens in my being, for taking care of the things I need to: sorting, packing, and bagging. So far we've bagged 12 giant trash bags of household waste. Five of those are my doing. Children are at school, so I might be able to bag up another 5 bags while they aren't looking.

I'm feeling everything at a very high intensity. Palm Sunday Mass just about slayed me. Dropping kids at school felt like sending them off to a summer abroad. I slept poorly last night, but I'm zizzling with energy.

Two more nights in this house. Lots of work left to get ready for leaving. Very tempting to just abandon everything in place. Thousands of dollars needed to move forward in any direction.

I feel profoundly, my weakness.

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