Reflect

A friend reports, “Your blog is riveting. I haven't been able to stop reading.” Thank you for your kind words, I’m now strong enough to hear them and accept them.

I honestly don’t know the effect I have in the world. I think few of us do. We successfully perform tasks mundane to ourselves, and others see sparks of greatness and are inspired. This is totally reciprocal: I’m in awe of the people in my life. They play powerfully, they are potent speakers, they organize without strain, they build consensus among many voices; how blessed I am!

And yet, I do know that my light shines more brightly than the light of some. I play a mental tape about not overpowering other people; what’s that about? I’ve been hiding my light under a bushel, thinking this somehow allowed others to shine more brightly.

Suppose I am a Lighthouse. I shutter my light, and the whole world is darker. This makes sense how? A firefly’s gleam does get overwhelmed by a searchlight beam… but am I arrogant to the extent that I can tell who’s light is dimmer than mine? Closing down on my greatness so as to not overpower other people: that’s criminally stupid and at this moment feels like a path to guarantee I get to live this life’s set of choices all over again.

At the sandcastle contest, I noticed I’m operating a different way. I noticed other people’s light, and harmonized with it. I encouraged play, I allowed experimentation, I used our happy accidents, I called attention to everyone’s contribution, I ensured all elements supported each other.

This then, is my truer power: to gather the lights, round up all the contributions, allow them to take form, and to hold the space open and submit my light to carry all towards their fullest expression.

(Here’s how true that statement is: I burst into tears as I wrote it.)