My new brain wiring is firming up; the old is weakening. For evidence, I offer the following two exchanges, one from before, one from now. As my children have become old enough to participate in operating the family, I've been giving them things to do. Such as:
"Nicholas, will you go to the store and get some oranges, please? Here's five bucks, bring me back the change."
"Sure Dad." [time passes] "Here's the oranges."
"Where's my change?"
"There isn't any."
"Are oranges that expensive?"
"No, I bought cookies for mom and Caitlan, and some all-natural gum for me."
"WHAT! I was very specific and clear, wasn't I? I told you to bring me back change!!"
[exit Nicholas, crushed]
The new wiring in my brain has opened up some space for exploration (observing is step #1 in permaculture!) and also for appreciating the unexpected (unexpected good). I've been so close to my edge for so many years now that the unexpected has been a dangerous thing, ready to topple me off. In class, we did a little Chi Gong, and I actually felt my center of gravity buzz and tingle within me, and I have a new stability. A new ability. As in, here's how a similar errand went, yesterday:
"Nicholas, will you go and buy a bicycle tube repair kit?"
"Sure dad. I saw Slime® at Long's."
"I don't want Slime®. I want the kind that you glue on, with the little patches. If they don't have that, don't buy anything different."
"Dad, they didn't have the kind that glue on, so I bought these, instead. They stick on."
"WHAT!" (Yeah, yeah, so my reactions aren't shifted yet) "I thought I was very specific!" (New wiring kicks in) "Well, it's just a three dollar experiment, so let's see what happens."
We tried them, and they are working great. I congratulated Nicholas for helping me try something new. Every few hours he comes to me with the report: "My tires are still holding their air, dad!"
"That's really great, Nick. And I really like there's no little left-over glue tube to throw away. Those patches were a great find, we'll have to remember about them."
Thank you, permies, for this gift. I'm already creating less stress and allowing for less stuff in my life.