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Wednesday, November 09, 2005

The chickens come home

Tough, hurtful things that I didn't handle well the first (or second, or third, or nth) time, come back and back until I change how I handle them. I forgot that they also tend to show up for re-solving during the times that I shift. As I am shifting now.

So here I am, deconstructed, and a few of my chickens are coming home to roost. It seems as soon as I apply my new abilities to soothing or re-solving the issue, another one flies into the coop.

There's a job I did two years ago that needs to be re-done. My error was in suggesting a too cheap option, and it looks bad. I've been driving past it, dreading the time when the client called and complained. She called; so now I know where I stand on righting old wrongs. I got my facts together, and no sooner had I mustered up the courage to have conversation when I learned that there's another problem of some sort with some other people.

When I went through my first transformation and had to leave my corporate-type job, my family took a big financial hit. Now I'm in the middle of a new transformation, when we're within a few dollars of zero. How will I support cleaning up after my own messes and my own maturation and re-construction, without plunging my family into poverty?

As importantly, how far back am I going to have to go, righting old wrongs? There's some really painful, awful stuff I did and or was party to. How clean do I want the chicken coop of my soul?

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